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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Just landed via Instagram:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Trending via TikTok:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your post might be the sandwich, but my reply is the gourmet filling! 🍔🧠✨"

apology, confidence, delete, humor, media, mistake, please, post, pretty, reply, sarcasm, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, wit, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

0

2 months ago

again, calory, exercise, fitness, humor, ID, irony, need, never, overthinking, self-deprecation
If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

0

2 months ago

die, diet, eat, exercise, fit, fitness, health, humor, irony, life, lifestyle, well
“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

0

2 months ago

9, coping, coping skill, date, dramatic, emotional, healthy, humor, just, me, minutes, November, November Rain, rain, relationship, self-awareness, skill, skills, someone, too
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

0

5 months ago

athletic, athleticism, confidence, humor, i, intelligence, joke, keep, man, most, sarcasm, scrolling, second, self-deprecating, world
You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

0

2 months ago

30, communication, confidence, conversation, exaggeration, humor, liar, lying, talk, topic, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

All I think about is death and sex.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Making waves on Messenger:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Just landed via Twitch:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Making waves on TikTok:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Going viral on Discord:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just shared via TikTok:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Live now on Twitch:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨