Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Going bananas on Facebook:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Going viral on Threads:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Showering and diving into bed: the ultimate power couple of relaxation! 🚿💤❤️

bed, bedtime, best, combo, comfort, ever, getting, literally, relaxation, routine, self-care, shower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

0

2 months ago

communication, going, greeting, humor, intention, sleep
Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

0

2 months ago

again, expectation, humor, i, irony, just, Monday, procrastination, routine, week
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

0

5 months ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust
I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, comparison, humor, self-deprecating, Temu, version, well-functioning
After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

0

2 months ago

clarity, conclusion, deliberation, humor, introspection, overthinker, self-reflection, thinking
The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, back rub, couple, frequent, fun, fun activity, give, give and take, giving, good, humor, marriage, relationship, rub, secret, take, takeout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

26 shares on X this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

65 shares on Slack this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

85 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Making waves on Threads:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Just landed via X:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Trending via YouTube:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Just landed via Threads:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Just landed via YouTube:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨