Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Making waves on YouTube:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Making waves on Facebook:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Going viral on YouTube:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Going bananas on Threads:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Trending via Messenger:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the cozy joy of showering and bedtime relaxation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Showering and diving into bed: the ultimate power couple of relaxation! 🚿💤❤️

bed, bedtime, best, combo, comfort, ever, getting, literally, relaxation, routine, self-care, shower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

72 shares on X this month:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

70 shares on X this month:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

36 shares on Reddit this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

71 shares on X this month:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Shared recently on X:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Just shared via TikTok:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Live now on Discord:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Trending via Discord:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨