Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going viral on Messenger:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just landed via Twitch:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Breaking via Discord:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Going viral on Slack:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Breaking via Instagram:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the world collectively trying to remember how to do small talk without emojis… 😂📵🌍

back, break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, life, media, needs, online, online life, perspective, reality, social, social media, social media break, social media detox, virtual, virtual world, world, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

0

2 months ago

bisexual, every, humor, mean, once, orientation, sexual, sexual orientation, sexuality, twice, wordplay
Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

0

2 months ago

90s, back, flight, humor, looking, nostalgia, ticket, tickets, time, time travel, travel
At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

0

2 months ago

beginning, behavior, call, cute, cute quirk, humor, later, little, motive, odd, odd behavior, partners, people, police, quirk, quirks, relationship
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

0

2 months ago

bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top
I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

0

2 months ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social
HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

0

2 months ago

boss, complete, forget, hr, last, later, survey, team

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

53 shares on X this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Live now on Discord:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Going viral on Discord:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Live now on Pinterest:

Dear music, thanks!

Breaking via Slack:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Going viral on Discord:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨