Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

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11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

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When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

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The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

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Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

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Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

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Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

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I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.