Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

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Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

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The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

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The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.