Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

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How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

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I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

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If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

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Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

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Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

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The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

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Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

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Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

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Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.