Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

71 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,340

Funny Quotes Topics

17,459

Funny Quotes Images

15,340

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Just landed via Slack:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Just landed via Facebook:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Trending via YouTube:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Just shared via X:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Just landed via Slack:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe it's 'Bristles', but my money's on 'Bewildered' because I'm still trying to figure it out 😂🪥"

abbreviation, b, brand, brand name, care, dental, dental care, Funny, humor, me, name, oral, Oral B, question, stand, toothpaste, WTF

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

0

2 months ago

Batman, costume, creativity, dress, ever, fashion, humor, i, impress, suit, superhero, thought, told
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

0

2 months ago

casual, dead, enough, humor, just, laziness, move, only, people, plan, relaxation, self-deprecating, think, weekend
“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

0

5 months ago

always, commentary, gen, Gen Z, generation, having, humor, less, people, sex, social, social commentary, stereotype, z
Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

0

3 days ago

2, days, family, family visit, growth, home, house, humor, life, parents, personal, personal growth, regression, visit
If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

0

2 months ago

30, again, agree, anger, back, board, board of directors, chat, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, directors, forgiveness, friends, group, group chat, humor, later, mad, means, minutes, relationship, resolution, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

47 shares on X this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

59 shares on Instagram this month:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Going viral on YouTube:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Going bananas on Telegram:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨