Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄

absolutely, call, delivery, food, guy, humor, i, joke, joke about delivery person, mule, person, pizza, pizza delivery, playful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

0

2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, just, know, myself, self, self-talk, talk, talking, talking to myself, tell
I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

0

2 months ago

air, air fryer, appliance, cooking, discovery, feel, fire, first time, fryer, humor, i, just, kitchen, modern, modern appliance, time, tonight, used
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, glasses, life, people, social media, sunglasses
Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

0

2 months ago

addiction, being, easier, humor, i, lot, myself, reflection, self-acceptance, self-esteem, sober, struggle
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, big, boundary, causing, coming, cortisol, home, house, humor, mood, stress, wellness
All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

0

2 months ago

evidence, humor, i, ID, irony, job, management, much, performance, promotion, senior, senior management, workplace, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

11 shares on Discord this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

65 shares on Discord this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Going bananas on Discord:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Going viral on X:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨