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Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

1 month ago
cleverness, dumb, five, humor, management, minutes, playing, playing dumb, procrastination, saving, saving work, time, time management, work
Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

1 month ago
activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

1 month ago
change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat
The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

1 month ago
adventure, birth, born, bungee, bungee jump, ever, experience, humor, i, jump, jumping, life, life experience, risk
The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

1 month ago
another, bourgeoisie, class, critique, humor, irony, means, oppression, social, social class, spelling, wordplay
Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

4 months ago
being, child, childhood, curiosity, follows, funny thought, me, miss, moon, nostalgia, thought, why, wonder, wondering

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

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Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

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Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Live now on X:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Just shared via Twitch:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Just landed via Facebook:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Just landed via TikTok:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

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Activity Log ✨

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

I love it when God gives me money.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

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The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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