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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Going viral on Slack:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
$15 for a fast-food meal? Did they add a side of gold nuggets? 🍟💰😂

basic, comical, cost, costs, dining, fact, fast, fast food, food, humor, inflation, meal, price, restaurant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love having plans to cancel.

5 months ago
cancel, cancellation, having, humor, i, introvert, life, love, plan, plans, social, social life
Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

1 month ago
angle, appearance, best, bring, cream, filter, honesty, house, humor, ice, ice cream, me, media, pictures, selfie, side, social, social media, ugly, ugly side
Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

1 month ago
14th, 30th, 31st, calendar, date, February, humor, joke, month, too
Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

1 month ago
apples, bag, careful, fitness, grocery, heavy, humor, journey, just, market, me, relationship, update, wife
I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

2 months ago
apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

4 months ago
alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Just landed via Instagram:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Breaking via Twitch:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Just shared via TikTok:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

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The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love having plans to cancel.

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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