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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Breaking via Slack:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Going viral on TikTok:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Just landed via Instagram:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Live now on Telegram:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Definitely a multi-level workout program 😂🏋️‍♀️🛑

ask, energy, feels, gym, me, need, pyramid, scheme

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

0

2 months ago

chicken, humor, i, morning, scream, understand, wake, wake up, why
I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

0

2 months ago

awards, bad, confusion, fact, forgetfulness, having, humor, i, irony, know, memory, recognition, self-deprecation, win
And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

0

2 months ago

appearance, belief, ceremony, humor, Jesus, shows, thank, wedding
I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

0

3 months ago

appearance, camera, hope, humor, i, me, mirror, photography, reflection, self-image, version
A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

0

2 months ago

aging, asking, conversation, getting, getting older, half, having, humor, interaction, just, lessons, life, life lessons, much, older, person, plus, repeat, small, small talk, social, social interaction, spent, talk
Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

0

5 months ago

backward, bend, bend backward, cowgirl, exorcist, humor, i, position, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, sex, sex position

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

19 shares on Slack this month:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

27 shares on Discord this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

65 shares on Threads this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Spotted on Messenger:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Seen just now on Threads:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Spotted on Twitch:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨