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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Shared recently on Discord:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Breaking via TikTok:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Spotted on Discord:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Making waves on Instagram:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Live now on Instagram:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Spotted on YouTube:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my kind of workout: a mental marathon where I cheer myself on from the couch! 🛋️💪😴

chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

0

5 months ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust
The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

0

3 months ago

adventure, body, dead, dead body, everest, fine, home, humor, laziness, lazy, me, mountain, mt., Mt. Everest, perfectly, procrastination, remind, safety, stay, staying, staying home
A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

0

2 months ago

couple, humor, know, life, marriage, problem, problems, relationship, single, solving, together
Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, end, humor, marriage, relationship, spouse, work
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

0

2 months ago

electrons, humor, intelligence, joke, moron, neutrons, physics, protons, science, universe
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

0

2 months ago

achy, Achy Breaky Heart, bad, bad day, breaky, country, country music, dance, day, heart, humor, just, line, line dance, matter, music, remember, seems, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Messenger this month:

70 shares on Slack this month:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spotted on Instagram:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Spotted on Slack:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Trending via Slack:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Freshly posted on Threads:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨