Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Trending via Slack:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Going viral on Discord:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Just landed via Facebook:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Just shared via Slack:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

0
There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your stomach wants a gourmet meal but all it gets is a caffeine rave 🎉☕️😆

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

92 shares on Slack this month:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

96 shares on X this month:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

48 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Spotted on Reddit:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴