This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

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You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

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Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

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Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

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Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

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Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

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Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.