Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spotted on X:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Shared recently on YouTube:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Just landed via X:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Broadcasted on X:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Breaking via Twitch:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Going bananas on Facebook:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When they ask about my life goals, I'm like, "Goal 1: Mashed potatoes. Goal 2: See Goal 1." 🥔😂

ask, dinner, family, family dinner, holiday, humor, just, life, mashed, mashed potato, me, pass, potato, question, questions, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

0

3 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

0

1 month ago

am, convinced, existential, humor, i, joke, late, lateness, philosophy, procrastination, real, reality, sarcasm, sorry, time
I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

0

1 month ago

age, aging, drink, forget, humor, i, just, life, naturally
Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

0

1 month ago

alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, drink, humor, juice, know, next, party, taste, thing, tipsy, tricky, walk, walking
TikTok? I still call it a watch.

0

1 month ago

call, entertainment, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, technology, TikTok, time, watch
I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

0

2 months ago

buffet, election, humor, i, line, misunderstanding, once, thought, vote

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

45 shares on X this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Just shared via Threads:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Going viral on WeChat:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Just landed via Discord:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Making waves on Reddit:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Trending via Messenger:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Just landed via Facebook:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Just shared via Discord:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨