Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Breaking via Instagram:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Going viral on Instagram:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When they ask about my life goals, I'm like, "Goal 1: Mashed potatoes. Goal 2: See Goal 1." 🥔😂

ask, dinner, family, family dinner, holiday, humor, just, life, mashed, mashed potato, me, pass, potato, question, questions, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

1 week ago

character, character name, culture, fox, Fox Mulder, humor, mulder, name, pop, pop culture, sexy
If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

4 months ago

bad, dating, feel, feeling, feeling bad, humor, just, love, relationship, self-esteem, single, start, want, yourself
Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

2 months ago

candles, date, even, fire, heat, humor, intense, intensity, passion, romantic, seeking, sweating
Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

2 months ago

before, customer, every, front, frustration, humor, i, me, money, never, person, queue, self-checkout, shopping, technology, time, touchscreen, used
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

5 months ago

anyone, different, different realm, escape, fantasy, humor, introvert, joke, me, needs, realm, social, social withdrawal, withdrawal
Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

2 months ago

conversation, dating, easier, fun, humor, me, relationship, single, still, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

16 shares on Slack this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

69 shares on X this month:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Going viral on TikTok:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Seen just now on X:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Going viral on Twitch:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨