Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Going viral on Slack:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Going viral on Facebook:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Live now on TikTok:

Happiness is an inside job.

Just landed via X:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Live now on X:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Trending via Messenger:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sign me up, where's the download button for this new "Rent-a-Voice" service? 📞🤐😅

anxiety, app, call, calls, communication, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, need, outsourcing, pay, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, social interaction, technology, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

0

2 months ago

breakup, comfort, every, hand, held, humor, relationship, sugar, support, through
The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

0

2 months ago

comedy, disturb, disturbed, entertainment, humor, humorless, meme, purpose
I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, drive, humor, i, ID, less, morning, relief, stress, stress relief, tank, transportation, work
I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

0

2 months ago

bonehead, communication, end, humor, i, just, just saying, offensive, sarcasm, saying, sentence, wit
Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

0

2 months ago

best, billionaire, heart, humor, interests, irony, me, sarcasm, trust, wealth
The shitshow must go on.

0

5 months ago

chaos, humor, mess, motivation, persistence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

81 shares on X this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

100 shares on X this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Spotted on Twitch:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Freshly posted on Discord:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Spotted on YouTube:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Going viral on Twitch:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on WeChat:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

The shitshow must go on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨