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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Going bananas on YouTube:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Just landed via Reddit:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Going viral on Facebook:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Trending via Telegram:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going viral on Pinterest:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Starting your mornings with a triple espresso and existential dread! ☕😅📉

bad, bad habit, beginner, funny question, getting, habit, habits, humor, just, life, question, ruin, ruining, sabotage, self, self sabotage, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, fun, fun activity, humor, lot, misunderstanding, mountain, mountain climbing, people, understand
Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

0

2 months ago

back, daylight, daylight saving, folks, forget, friendly, humor, joke, just, lighthearted, reminder, rooster, saving, set, time, weekend
Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, behavior, both, doctor, family, health, health advice, humor, instinct, jumping, jumping on the bed, know, live, monkey, monkey instinct, playful, playful behavior, said, wife
Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anywhere, bug, bugs, choose, face, fly, fly into face, flying, flying bug, humor, insect, nature, right, still, want
Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, balcony, behavior, cat, emotion, even, explain, human, human emotion, humor, i, jump, owner, pet, pet owner, trying, want, well, why
Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, couple, even, fail, humor, joke, jokes, meeting, online, told, virtual, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

80 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

23 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

82 shares on X this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Making waves on Slack:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Going viral on Telegram:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Making waves on Threads:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Just shared via Slack:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Trending via Messenger:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Going viral on Slack:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Shared recently on Discord:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨