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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Just landed via TikTok:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Going viral on Threads:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Shared recently on Slack:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Going viral on Messenger:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text pondering the universe as a mysterious third option beyond infinite or finite.

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Commentary:
Mind blown 🤯! Maybe the universe is actually just shy and hiding its true self behind cosmic sunglasses 🕶️✨.

finite, humor, infinite, mystery, paradox, philosophy, secret, thing, third, universe

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21 shares on WeChat this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Spreading quickly via X:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spotted on Discord:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Shared recently on X:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

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Activity Log ✨

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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