Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.
  • She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.
  • I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.
  • When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.
  • Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”
  • Take my advice, I’m not using it.