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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,941

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Live now on Threads:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Seen just now on Instagram:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Making waves on WeChat:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Planning my apocalypse outfit: do camo and sequins clash? 🌍✨🪖

apocalypse, comedy, crisis, fashion, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, satire, should, war, wear, wonder, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

1 month ago
brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time
New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

4 months ago
2, act, acting, character, cinephile, humor, main, main character, method, method watching, months, movie, new, talk, talking, technique, watch, watching
I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

1 month ago
Christmas, communication, expectations, gift, hello, holiday, humor, i, letter, only, relationship, Santa, say, short, something, touch, want, week
I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

1 month ago
blood, drink, humor, i, lifestyle, stay, stay young, young, youth
(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

4 months ago
conversation, ever, every, flirting, humor, question, single, thing, thought
Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

1 month ago
back, break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, life, media, needs, online, online life, perspective, reality, social, social media, social media break, social media detox, virtual, virtual world, world, year

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Shared recently on Reddit:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Just shared via Reddit:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Going viral on Slack:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

The future is buffering.

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

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Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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