Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Trending via YouTube:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Making waves on Slack:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Making waves on Facebook:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Breaking via Telegram:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Just landed via Telegram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Breaking via Instagram:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to dodge cyclists and bad tunes—multitasking at its worst! 🚴‍♂️🎶🙈

bike, distraction, humor, i, music, next, riding, song, street

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A garlic a day keeps people away.

0

2 months ago

away, day, garlic, health, humor, keeps, people
Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

0

1 month ago

anyone, childhood, electricity, habit, leaving, light, lights, nostalgia, parent, parents, reminder, room, say, shut, still, used, waste
I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, animal, desire, escape, everything, fix, freedom, horse, humor, i, Kazakhstan, wild, wild horse, wish
It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

0

2 months ago

actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom
Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

0

2 months ago

context, fall, friendship, gravity, humor, unfriend, watch, watching
Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

0

2 months ago

generosity, giving, humor, impress, me, money, request, sarcasm, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

87 shares on Discord this month:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

25 shares on X this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Going viral on Facebook:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Just landed via Reddit:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Just landed via WeChat:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨