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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Spotted on X:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Just landed via X:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Spotted on Instagram:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Just landed via Messenger:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Just shared via Discord:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about riding bikes casually, with a playful jab at music distractions.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to dodge cyclists and bad tunes—multitasking at its worst! 🚴‍♂️🎶🙈

bike, distraction, humor, i, music, next, riding, song, street

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Discord this month:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

96 shares on Slack this month:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

37 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Just landed via Threads:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Trending via Discord:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Trending via WeChat:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Going viral on Reddit:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨