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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Just landed via YouTube:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Seen just now on X:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Making waves on Threads:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Making waves on Instagram:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Napping: the underrated luxury of adulthood 😴✨#CouchGoals

afternoon, afternoon nap, cool, couch, ever, humor, nap, relaxation, sex, taken

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

0

2 months ago

attitude, cooking, food, gnocchi, humor, i, language, people, pronounce, seriously, take
I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

0

4 weeks ago

after, doom, doom scroll, humor, i, improve, improvement, life, little, media, procrastination, scroll, self, self-improvement, social, social media, yes
One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

0

2 months ago

bed, both, humor, just, logic, need, night, night stand, one-night stand, people, relationship, sense, sides, single, stand
My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, best, buying, dinner, friend, house, humor, i, lifestyle, marriage, married, popcorn, priorities
It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

0

2 months ago

bird, heat, here, hot, humor, i, nature, summer, worm
Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

0

4 months ago

August, door, farewell, goodbye, hit, humor, let, month, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

60 shares on X this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

23 shares on Discord this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

67 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied: