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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Making waves on Instagram:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Making waves on Slack:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

2 months ago

0

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your friend talks about her love life, and you start feeling like a relationship therapist—without the degree! 😂🙈💔 #NoCertificationNeeded"

dating, female, female friend, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, life, love, love life, open, sarcasm, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

0

2 months ago

blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, bathroom, burial, death, humor, long time, me, pee, still, sure, time
You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, just, know, life, much, nothing, overwhelm, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, sit, tasks
When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, culture, humor, i, Jedi, man, me, men, older, older man, pop, pop culture, say, talking, teachings, tell, wisdom, Yoda
Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

0

3 months ago

able, being, form, humor, own, self-acceptance, sound, tolerance, tolerate, video, voice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Spotted on Twitch:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Breaking via Telegram:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Trending via Threads:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Trending via TikTok:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

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