Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Life's too short to worry about semicolons; just confidently sprinkle them around like confetti at a punctuation party! 💁‍♂️🎉 #SemicolonConfidence"

confidence, grammar, humor, language, punctuation, semicolons, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

0

2 months ago

behavior, curiosity, every, house, humor, learn, lot, movement, observation, observing, outside, person, privacy, tree, waking
I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, bet, destroy, ever, extraterrestrial, gathering, humor, i, information, information gathering, just, self-destruction, speculation, think, us, waiting, well
Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

0

5 days ago

future, future love, humor, introvert, living, living room, love, meant, relationship, room, simply, single, teleport
Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

0

2 months ago

advice, analogy, compatible, date, dating, dating advice, humor, love, relationship, someone, thermostat
Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, breathalyzer, checkout, drunk, feature, humor, needs, order, shopping
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

0

2 months ago

acting, comedy, humor, job, let, motivation, never, prevent, unemployed, unemployment, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

18 shares on WeChat this month:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Making waves on Pinterest:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Live now on Twitch:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Spotted on X:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨