Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Making waves on Instagram:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Just shared via TikTok:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Breaking via Messenger:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Spotted on Facebook:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

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Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your honor, forget the verdict, let's focus on the real MVP here – the brownie maker extraordinaire! 🍫👩‍⚖️ Courtrooms could definitely use more sweet treats and less legal jargon! Who needs justice when you have brownies, am I right? 😜 #BrowniesForJustice"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Telegram this month:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

63 shares on X this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Is this art or trash?

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

83 shares on Facebook this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Going bananas on Facebook:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Just shared via Messenger:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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