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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Seen just now on X:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Dr. Kibble consults about my digital pet’s pixelated sneeze… 🐥🩺🤔

digital, digital pet, getting, health, humor, nostalgia, opinion, pet, second, second opinion, Tamagotchi, virtual, virtual pet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

1 month ago
away, big, countertops, daily, daily life, home, humor, job, life, moving, parent, parenting, responsibility, safety, things
Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

1 month ago
breathing, change, couple, everyone, everything, familiarity, humor, humor about love, long-term, loud, love, marriage, oh, relationship, too
The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

1 month ago
allergy, humor, irony, life, limitations, oyster, perspective, shellfish, world
I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

1 month ago
alligator, angry, bra, comparison, funny comparison, humor, i, middle, never, same, sports, sports bra, struggle, summer, taken, thing, wet, wrestling
I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

2 weeks ago
advice, fine, getting, help, humor, i, partner, recommend, relationship, support, yourself
If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

1 month ago
explain, game, gaming, humor, joke, jump, Mario, men, race, race humor, race joke, sports, super, Super Mario, video, video game, white

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Spotted on WeChat:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Live now on Telegram:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Earth is hard.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Activity Log ✨

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Activity Log ✨

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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