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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,891

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Going viral on X:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

At least life has music.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make a playlist and dance it off! 🎵🍋🕺

humor, least, life, music, positivity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

1 month ago
apocalypse, comedy, crisis, fashion, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, satire, should, war, wear, wonder, world
As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

1 month ago
allowed, direct, empowerment, fantasy, girl, humor, i, moon, should, speak
I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

1 month ago
again, color, color preference, emotional, emotional healing, girl, girls, healing, i, liking, means, pink, preference, start, think
“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

1 month ago
awkward, conversation, humor, i, nice, oh, ourself, room, round, say, social, thought, wrong
I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

2 weeks ago
ability, evil, humor, i, judgment, media, perception, picture, profile, profile picture, social, social media, where
Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, deserved, dressed, face, getting, getting dressed, humor, i, morning, myself, punch, say, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Trending via Instagram:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At least life has music.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

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At least life has music.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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