Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,083

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Just shared via YouTube:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Just landed via Discord:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Just landed via TikTok:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Just shared via WeChat:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Going viral on Threads:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

More funny quotes 👇

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

0

5 months ago

bottom, downhill, ever, humor, i, life, point, sarcasm, started, starting, starting point, struggle
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

0

5 months ago

challenge, communication, dumb, dumb question, humor, i, misunderstanding, personal, question, said, take, thing
Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

0

5 months ago

algorithm, gods, hot, humor, i, just, let, media, online, post, revenge, selfie, social, social media, work
I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

0

5 months ago

communication, humor, i, internet, love, media, posting, problem, sharing, social, social media, thought, thoughts
Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

0

5 months ago

baby, baby girl, beautiful, cafeteria, girl, humor, name
I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, casual, dating, eat, eating, flirt, fresh, fruit, humor, i, know, me, playful, summer, sundress, watch
Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

0

5 months ago

cheating, dating, faithfulness, female, fidelity, healthy, healthy relationship, humor, irony, ones, relationship, relationships, toxic, toxic relationship
She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

0

5 months ago

before, breakfast, cereal, humor, meant, milk, mistake, morning, morning routine, relationship, routine
“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

0

5 months ago

chores, dish, dishes, dishwashing, humor, myth, pun, Sisyphus
Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

0

5 months ago

Asian, Asian parent, cultural, cultural stereotype, focus, give, humor, name, names, parent, parents, stereotype, study

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

63 shares on Threads this month:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

100 shares on Discord this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

81 shares on Slack this month:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just shared via Facebook:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Breaking via TikTok:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Spotted on X:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨