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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Going viral on Slack:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Live now on Twitch:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Trending via Slack:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Spotted on Discord:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That soup's got me feeling "ooh la la" in ways I can't explain 🤤🥴🍲

acting, behavior, food, french, French onion soup, good, humor, onion, pervert, soup

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

0

2 months ago

calm, calm down, complain, driving, hood, humor, least, road, safety, sarcasm, want
Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

0

2 months ago

better, better looking, confidence, happier, humor, looking, media, people, posts, self-promotion, show, smarter, social, social media, study
You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

0

2 months ago

before, breath, deep, deep breath, dumb, ever, humor, met, responding, someone, take
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday
Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

0

2 months ago

car, car doctor, cause, crazy, doctor, having, humor, joke, maintenance, take, vehicle, vehicle maintenance
Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, aura, humor, observation, past, personality, pilot, travel, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

64 shares on Discord this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

90 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via X:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Reddit:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Spotted on Threads:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Trending via Threads:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Spotted on Discord:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Seen just now on X:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨