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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Seen just now on Discord:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Shared recently on Threads:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Breaking via X:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via X:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Spotted on Twitch:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Shared recently on Slack:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

2 months ago

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the endless string of 'whys' from a toddler – a surefire way to test your knowledge and patience! 🤔👶 Embracing the 'why' phase is like staring into the vast abyss of curiosity, with only your wits and Google to guide you! 😂🔍 #EndlessInquiries #ToddlerWisdom"

curiosity, humor, know, knowledge, little, little knowledge, parenting, phase, realization, realize, toddler, why, why phase

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

2 months ago

1, author, bestseller, book, every, humor, new, New York Times, publishing, times, writing, york
How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

2 months ago

humor, irony, life, politely, ruin, ruined, someone, tell
Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

3 months ago

ambition, ambitious, daughter, day, delusional, every, family, humor, lottery, needs, struggles, winning
Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

3 months ago

brain, communication, humor, language, lol, translate, WTF
My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

2 months ago

activity, event, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, last, rodeo, same
Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

2 months ago

broke, humor, i, irony, just, lifestyle, minimalist, money, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

55 shares on Threads this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Trending via X:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Live now on Discord:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Just shared via X:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

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