Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,997

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,997

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Making waves on WeChat:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Reported on YouTube:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Making waves on Twitch:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the adult rollercoaster: one minute I'm a financial guru, the next I'm a broke magician making money disappear 🎢💸✨

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,997

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,997

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Live now on Instagram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Shared recently on Threads:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Breaking via Telegram:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴