Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Making waves on TikTok:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Just landed via WeChat:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Making waves on Reddit:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Just shared via Twitch:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Breaking via Twitch:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Trending via Telegram:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Living the adult rollercoaster: one minute I'm a financial guru, the next I'm a broke magician making money disappear 🎢💸✨

account, adulthood, adulting, budgeting, day, days, finance, financial, financial struggle, humor, later, money, money transfer, myself, personal, personal finance, relatable, save, savings, savings account, struggle, three, transfer, wild

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

0

3 weeks ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, enough, humor, procrastination, think, today, todaying, wordplay
Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

0

2 months ago

employment, environment, great, honesty, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, lying, sarcasm, work, work environment, workplace
I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

0

2 months ago

attention, best, humor, irony, noticed, psychology, relationship, want
Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bed, bed rot, chill, chill time, comfort, dating, day, doing, doing nothing, favorite, hiking, introvert, just, lazy, lazy day, looking, no adventure, nothing, relaxation, rot, someone, thing, time
Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

0

3 months ago

AI, before, birth, born, dead, death, dystopia, future, glad, got, humanity, humor, i, internet, life, technology, time
I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

0

2 months ago

disrespect, early, humor, i, sleep, waking, waking up, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

79 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Shared recently on X:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Just shared via Twitch:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Just landed via Slack:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Spotted on Telegram:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨