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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Making waves on Twitch:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on Slack:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Living the adult rollercoaster: one minute I'm a financial guru, the next I'm a broke magician making money disappear 🎢💸✨

account, adulthood, adulting, budgeting, day, days, finance, financial, financial struggle, humor, later, money, money transfer, myself, personal, personal finance, relatable, save, savings, savings account, struggle, three, transfer, wild

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

1 month ago
ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

1 month ago
40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome
Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

1 month ago
activity, both, date, dog, humor, river, style
The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

1 month ago
best, graduation, humor, kid, message, messages, parenting, school, text, text message, unsubscribe
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

1 month ago
bodily, bodily function, digestion, eat, fart, food, function, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, just, things
It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

1 month ago
account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Going viral on Reddit:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Making waves on Slack:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

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Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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