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Massive disappointment? Nah, you're just setting records in the "surprise achievement" category! 🏆😂👑
Author Archives: slickboy
I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.
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Living the dream: off-grid, but still online! 🌲📶😂
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
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Responding with the speed of a sloth on vacation! 🦥📱 Can't rush greatness, right? 🍽️🚶♂️
I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.
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While we wait for "healthy" vape donuts to be a thing… 🍩🚬🤣
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.
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Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.
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Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.
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Treat yo'self to some pre-birthday presents—better start a year early! 🎈🎉🛍️
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.
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Sounds like you're on the cutting edge of creating new muscle groups! 💪🤔🌀
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.
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Laughing through life like it's my cardio workout 😂💪
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.
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He might be hot enough to melt ice, but he definitely needs a GPS to find the punchline 😂🔥