Commentary:
High standards save lives, and my prince still hasn't figured out my Wi-Fi password yet! 😂👑📶
Author Archives: slickboy
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.
Commentary:
If celebrities keep naming kids like they're new Apple products, we're going to end up with a generation called iKid and Kid Pro Max! 😂🤦♂️🎤
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.
Commentary:
Sounds like my life is just an improv show! 🎭🤔😅
Work beers should be a daily thing.
Commentary:
Time to update the employee handbook to include 'Beer O'Clock' every day! 🍺😄🎉
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.
Commentary:
I call it "karaoke confidence" 🎤😅🎶
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.
Commentary:
Trying to be a cartoon cake thief IRL? That's a recipe for disaster! 🎂🪚🤣
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.
Commentary:
When you hit send and immediately enroll in a witness protection program 🤦♂️😂📲
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.
Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.
Commentary:
Skipping gym and rent—a multitasking genius! 🏋️♂️🔒😄