Commentary:
Trying to flirt your way out of eternal damnation: Noted. 😈😂
Author Archives: slickboy
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.
Commentary:
Sharks, squids, and mysteries? I'm just here for the suntan and the beach selfies! 🦈🌊📸
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.
Commentary:
Dinner for two: where the candlelight is low and the stakes are questionable! 🍽️🥩🔥
If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?
Commentary:
Dystopia should at least come with a cleaning service, right? 🤖🧹😆
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”
Commentary:
When you need a pillow manual just to get a good night's sleep 😂🛏️🔄
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?
Commentary:
Sex is fun, but nothing beats the thrill of slamming your laptop shut after conquering tab city 🎉📚💻
Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.
Commentary:
That's one spicy exorcism 😏💋👻
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.
Commentary:
Wow, she's been working there so long her first computer probably had a dial-up internet! 🖥️📞😄
Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: I’m the main character of my own rom-com, and the script is just our texts! 📚😂💕"