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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Spotted on Discord:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Just landed via Slack:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Live now on Reddit:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Shared recently on X:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.
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Commentary:
Well, I guess political debates just got a whole lot spicier! 🍿🤨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have friends in high places (birds).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Spotted on TikTok:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Just landed via Pinterest:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Just shared via WeChat:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Just landed via Instagram:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Just shared via YouTube:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Going viral on X:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Shared recently on Discord:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Trending via X:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

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