Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Making waves on X:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Making waves on Threads:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Going viral on Snapchat:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

15 hours ago

Funny and playful text about someone justifying following a porn star for her political opinions.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I guess political debates just got a whole lot spicier! 🍿🤨

babe, believe, dating, excuse, humor, i, lie, me, media, political, politics, porn, porn star, relationship, social, social media, star, views

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Live now on Slack:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Trending via Threads:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Breaking via Instagram:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴