Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Just landed via Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Spotted on Telegram:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your opinions are not my business.

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to please everyone and still failing is my superpower 🌟🤦‍♂️ #PeoplePleaserProblems 😅

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

0

2 months ago

character, comparison, donkey, funny comparison, having, home, humor, just, kid, kids, know, movie, movie character, parenting, Shrek, talking
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

0

2 months ago

again, confidence, doing, glimpse, guess, humor, i, mirror, morning, myself, personality, self-image, today, work
No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told
There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

0

2 months ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list
Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

0

2 months ago

communication, dream, gwyneth, Gwyneth Paltrow, humor, i, last, me, message, night, paltrow, plan
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

32 shares on Slack this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Just landed via Telegram:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Making waves on X:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Making waves on WeChat:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨