Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Going viral on Messenger:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Just shared via Slack:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Seen just now on Discord:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Making waves on Twitch:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Trending via Telegram:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to please everyone and still failing is my superpower 🌟🤦‍♂️ #PeoplePleaserProblems 😅

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

0

2 months ago

ancient, fulfillment, humor, i, modern, politics, prophecy, satire, stop, trying, wish
I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

0

2 months ago

animal, bro, cat, cats, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, playful, right, talkative
Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

0

2 months ago

college, dog, dogs, found, having, humor, independence, intelligence, job, lifestyle, maybe, pet, satire, smarter, us
Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

0

2 months ago

creativity, etch, Etch a Sketch, head, humor, mind, right, shaking, shaking my head, sketch, thoughts
Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

0

2 months ago

activity, data, enough, excel, fun, fun activity, habits, humor, i, insights, listening, music, personal, personal insights, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, spreadsheet, technology, want, wrapped
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

0

2 months ago

beer, hear, hold, humor, i, judgment, know, much, needs, online, people, perception, pressure, self-judgment, world, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Live now on WeChat:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Making waves on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Seen just now on X:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Live now on Messenger:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Just landed via Twitch:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on TikTok:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨