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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Going viral on Discord:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Spotted on Threads:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Just landed via Messenger:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Freshly posted on X:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just landed via WeChat:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Live now on Threads:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your heart says yay and your brain says bruh, you know you're living the best of both worlds 😂🤷‍♀️💖

being, bi, bisexual, both, bruh, expression, humor, identity, means, reaction, say, slang, yay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

0

2 months ago

appointment, dentist, frustration, hate, humor, mouth, nap, open, sleep, take, trying
Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

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2 months ago

baby, every, family, hours, humor, humor quote, i, joke, love, newborn, parenting, whisper
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

0

2 months ago

always, corrected, footwear, humor, i, misconception, orthopaedic, orthopaedic shoe, pun, shoe, stand, thought
Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, expectations, humor, i, noticed, observation, relationship, saying, want
All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

0

2 months ago

broken, broken people, dealing, humor, lord, me, mechanic, people, tell
I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

0

2 months ago

business, career, career change, change, half, hogan, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, i, job, job search, looking, mean, motivation, new, relief, ripping, search, shirt, shirt ripping, short, story, stress, stress relief, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

100 shares on Threads this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

49 shares on X this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

46 shares on Slack this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

38 shares on Messenger this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Breaking via WeChat:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Breaking via Twitch:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Spotted on Reddit:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Shared recently on Slack:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Making waves on Snapchat:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨