Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.
  • When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”
  • “Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.
  • At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.
  • I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.
  • If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.