Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of a machine designed to avoid calls instead of answering them! π΅π Maybe they should rename it the 'Avoidinator 3000' for transparency's sake! π€π"
Random Funny Quotes
Letβs lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.
Commentary:
"Couples who scroll together, roll together! π±β€οΈ #RelationshipGoals π"
Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.
Commentary:
"Looks like these traffic police still believe that 50 is the old 50! ππ Maybe they just haven't gotten the memo that age is just a number! ππ #ForeverYoung"
I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.
Commentary:
"Taking one for the team, one cookie at a time! πͺ Who knew saving your family could be this delicious? π #DiabetesDeputy"
You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, the neighbor starts a lawnmower orchestra πΆππ±"
I love music so much, I wish I was a song.
Commentary:
"If I were a song, I'd be the one stuck in your head all day! π΅π"
My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.
Commentary:
I used to win every game of "blow-the-fan-away" with my expert robot voice skills! π€ππ
Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.
Commentary:
"Keeping it 'smooth criminal' on the outside, but on the inside, it's a full drama episode. πππ"
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.
Commentary:
Sounds like someone clicked "remind me tomorrow" on their entire life! ππ
π