Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs dating when you can fast-track to happily ever after? 💍 Why waste time swiping left or right when you can swipe your way to the altar! 🤵👰 Who's in for a shortcut to wedded bliss? 😂 #MarriageMinded"

commitment, dating, humor, just, marriage, married, overrate, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation
The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, fitness, flat, flat stomach, health, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, only, past, stomach, thing, weight
Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

0

2 weeks ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, loss, memory, password, passwords, protection, security, short, technology, term
“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, answer, asked, beautiful, beautiful woman, dating, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, job, job interview, situation, social, social situation, weakness, woman, women, workplace
The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, dating, devil, humor, life, love, me, reach, relationship, struggle, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

24 shares on X this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

34 shares on X this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

44 shares on X this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Seen just now on TikTok:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Seen just now on Discord:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Seen just now on Slack:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Trending via Telegram:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Spotted on Telegram:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Just shared via Threads:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨