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Commentary:
"Who needs dating when you can fast-track to happily ever after? 💍 Why waste time swiping left or right when you can swipe your way to the altar! 🤵👰 Who's in for a shortcut to wedded bliss? 😂 #MarriageMinded"

commitment, dating, humor, just, marriage, married, overrate, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

1 month ago
5pm, call, Friday, humor, ice cream, joke, machine, McDonald’s, me, not working, weekend, working
Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

1 month ago
call, humor, marriage, night, phone, relationship, ring, sleep, wake
I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

1 month ago
accountability, actions, always, around, blame, else, humor, i, loneliness, responsibility, self-awareness, take
People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

2 weeks ago
apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

1 month ago
doll, humor, joke, magic, playful, please, prank, sarcasm, study, supernatural, voodoo, voodoo doll
I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

1 month ago
again, catchy, catchy song, entertainment, humor, i, live, nostalgia, sitcom, song, songs, television, theme, theme song, TV, TV sitcom, want, where, world

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

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I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Just landed via Messenger:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Just landed via Instagram:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

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Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

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Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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