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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Earth is hard.

Going bananas on Telegram:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Breaking via Snapchat:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Going viral on Messenger:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Live now on Snapchat:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to stay low-key on Twitter like a ninja in a library 📚🤫 #AvoidTheSpotlight

character, daily, day, goal, humor, identity, main, main character, media, never, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

0

2 months ago

actually, doing, expertise, grocery, grocery store, humor, joking, know, needs, people, sarcasm, shopping, store
Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

0

2 months ago

being, clothing, comfort, feels, humor, irony, naked, nakedness, sh
The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

0

2 months ago

actually, flag, humor, joke, review, single, star, state, symbol, Texas
Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

0

2 months ago

80s, cartoons, feelings, gadget, inspector, Inspector Gadget, kids, mixed, mixed feelings, movy, nostalgia, technology, Terminator
I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

0

3 months ago

account, bank, couple, humor, i, joint, joint bank account, kind, know, marriage, money, relationship, sex, want
Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

0

2 months ago

back, call, childhood, Facetime, family, humiliating, humiliation, i, me, nephew, relationship, sharing, show, sibling, sibling relationship, technology, toy, toys, video, video call

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on X this month:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

77 shares on Reddit this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨