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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Just landed via Slack:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

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Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.
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Commentary:
📸💍 When engagement photo shoots have you wondering if the ring's bling is compensating for something, honey! 😂💁‍♀️ Who needs a photo to prove they found love when they've already posted a million relationship updates?! 🤳🤣 Just remember, diamonds may be forever, but a great sense of humor is priceless! 💎😜 #SorryNotSorry

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

43 shares on X this month:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Going viral on Discord:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Going viral on Discord:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Breaking via X:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

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