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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Just landed via Slack:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Breaking via Pinterest:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Spotted on Threads:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Spotted on Slack:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Trending via Threads:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When flies act like they're auditioning for a soap opera, buzzing in with drama and leaving with a flair for the overdramatic 😂🪰🚪

escape, fly, flying, frustration, grow, humor, irony, obsession, peeve, pet, pet peeve, pretending, room

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

2 months ago

contrast, fun, gangster, humor, irony, rainbow
I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

2 months ago

cliff, echo, friend, friends, heartbreak, humor, i, just, loneliness, love, relationship, right, single
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

2 months ago

conversation, humor, i, interruption, marriage, relationship, want, wife
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

2 months ago

application, applying, communism, employment, guy, humor, job, job application, jobs, just, laziness, political, politics, satire, somewhere, wants
My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

2 months ago

after, always, attempt, dragon, happiness, hoard, i, lie, me, nice, nice thing, possessions, purge, rediscover, thing, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

50 shares on Slack this month:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

35 shares on X this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨