Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Going viral on Slack:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Spotted on Slack:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just shared via Reddit:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Live now on Instagram:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Trending via Messenger:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Making waves on Slack:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Soup-du-jour: the menu item with commitment issues 🍲🔄😄

bullshit, changing, day, du, food, french, humor, joke, jour, keep, language, restaurant, soup, soup du jour, translation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

0

5 months ago

drinking, got, humor, lifestyle, self-improvement, sobriety, standard, standards, tired
When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, foam, forget, frustration, humor, memory, memory foam, never, pillow, scream, sleep
I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

0

2 months ago

condition, humor, ignore, joke, name, relationship, sarcasm, term, terms
Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

0

2 months ago

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun
Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

0

2 months ago

application, applying, call, calls, communication, humor, imagine, interview, irony, job, job application, job interview, missed, missed call, numbers, phone, phone call, picking, random
Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

1

2 months ago

anime, comparison, cultural, cultural reference, food, food humor, funny comparison, humor, just, ramen, reference, spaghetti

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

19 shares on Threads this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

11 shares on X this month:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Trending via TikTok:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Spotted on WeChat:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Just landed via X:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨