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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Seen just now on Telegram:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Just landed via Slack:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Seen just now on X:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Spotted on Telegram:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Going viral on X:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Trending via Snapchat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Breaking via Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Going viral on YouTube:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Live now on WeChat:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Just shared via Instagram:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Live now on Reddit:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Going viral on Facebook:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

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