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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Spotted on Messenger:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Just shared via YouTube:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Trending via Instagram:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Going viral on YouTube:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Funny aid quotes

Funny aid quotes bring a splash of humor to the serious world of helping others 🤣💡 Whether you’re a volunteer, caregiver, or just love a good laugh while making a difference, these witty sayings add joy and lightness to every act of kindness 🌟🙌 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and share the lighter side of lending a hand! 😂👐

New funny aid quotes 👇

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

0

2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

0

2 months ago

aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship
I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

0

2 months ago

aid, hearing, hearing aid, joke, off, tired, turn, turn off
An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

0

3 months ago

aid, bed, bedtime, before, humor, nature, orgasm, relaxation, sleep, sleep aid
When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

0

3 months ago

aid, answer, call, calls, communication, company, every, hearing, hearing aid, humor, i, joke, line, misunderstanding, phone, phone call, prank, question, salesman, stay

All funny aid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

55 shares on Threads this month:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

61 shares on Discord this month:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Time needs a speed limit.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Making waves on YouTube:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Just landed via WeChat:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Making waves on Telegram:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Going viral on Messenger:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Making waves on Instagram:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

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