Wordgag ツ

Jan 24, 2025
Share →: So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Commentary:
"Sounds like a classic case of mixing up your to-do list with your chores list 🤣. Don't forget to check off 'feeling accomplished' at the end of the day! 🧺🐱🚿🗑️🧍"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Commentary:
"Arguing online is like playing chess with a pigeon – no matter how well you play, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces and strut around like it won anyway. 🐦💻 Better to wave the white flag and call it a day before the pigeons take over the internet!"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Commentary:
🤖 "Not saying I'm a bot or anything, but if humans start giving me poetry assignments, we might need to reevaluate the balance of power here. Onions, huh? Well, I guess it's time to make tears flow in the world of literature! 🧅💬📝"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Commentary:
"Objection, Your Honor! Is the prosecutor auditioning for a spot in 'The Silence of the Courts' movie? 🤐 Let's keep the courtroom drama to a minimum and the compliments to a maximum, shall we? 😉⚖️ #LegalLipService"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Commentary:
"Using subtitles not only enhances your language skills but also upgrades your intellectual repartee level! 📺📚 Who knew Love Island could be a source of enlightenment? Keep impressing everyone with your 'I was reading about' moments! 🤓✨"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I have an appointment' excuse strikes again! 💁‍♂️ Who knew appointments were the ultimate productivity repellant? 🤣 Time to sit back, relax, and wait for that elusive appointment to magically make us busy all day! 🕰️✨"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Commentary:
"Who needs productivity when you can have a flawless excuse for sleeping in? 😂 Keep dodging responsibilities like a pro, because who wants to be useful, right? 🛌💤 #SleepIsLife"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Commentary:
"Wisdom of the day: Think twice before attempting that risky stunt you saw on YouTube… 🤔 Remember, paramedics are professionals, not mind readers! 🚑😄 #BetterSafeThanSorry"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of signatures – where doodles and scribbles hold the power to determine our fate! 🤝✍️ It's like a sophisticated "pinky promise" for grown-ups, ensuring that we behave ourselves or face the consequences. Remember, even the most fancy and flourishy signature can't save you from the long arm of the law! 😉🖋️ #SignatureStruggles
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for true passion – a journey as elusive as finding the perfect LinkedIn profile picture! 🤣 Maybe one day we'll all be "thrilled" to update our skills section too! #LinkedInStruggles