33 Funny contradiction quotes

• I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  contradiction, fighting, free, free speech, humor, irony, mine, opinion, quiet, sarcasm, self-interest, silence, speech, yours

• I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  always, buy, contradiction, expensive, humor, i, irony, say, shopping, spending

• Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste

• I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  alter, change, consistency, contradiction, different, humor, i, irony, nothing, welcome

• If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  contradiction, exercise, fitness, good, humor, swimming, whale

• I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  am, bold, contradiction, explain, humor, i, paradox, personality, same, shy, time

• Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  being, compliment, contradiction, humor, insult, irony, me, mule, okay, passing, racing, reaction, slow, someone, speed

• What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  confusion, contradiction, everything, humor, intelligence, irony, smart, stupid

• I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  alone, brain, contradiction, emotion, heart, humor, i, loneliness, love, loved, wants

• People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking

All funny contradiction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌