Commentary:
"Who needs a clown car when you've got the office? 🤡🚗😂"
86 Funny daily life quotes
If every day is a gift, today is socks.
Commentary:
"Socks today? Well, at least it's not another fruitcake! 🎁🧦😂"
I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
Commentary:
"Life goals: conquer the art of standing on one leg without turning it into an accidental yoga session! 🧘♂️🤣🩲"
Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.
Commentary:
"When the sun's out but so is your to-do list! 🌞➡️📋 #AdultingStrikesAgain"
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
Commentary:
"Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"
Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.
Commentary:
"Sign me up for the Olympic Bra-thlon! 🤼♀️🏆😂"
Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.
Commentary:
😂 "So true! It's like living with a furry surveillance buddy who's always one sniff away from being banned on a plane! 🐶👀💩🔍"
Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.
Commentary:
"Life goal: Be the quick brown fox on days ending in 'y' 🦊😂 #LazyDogMode"
I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.
Commentary:
"Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"
Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”
Commentary:
"Just waiting for my cameo in next week's episode! 🎬😂 #ChaosClub"