Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Trending via Pinterest:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Going viral on Twitch:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Making waves on X:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

1 month ago

dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume
Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

1 month ago

apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work
Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

1 month ago

advice, ask, cues, date, dating, dating advice, declarative, declarative statements, feel, fellas, humor, interrogation, lady, never, questions, social, social cues, statements, strong, sure
How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

1 month ago

attraction, attractive, attractive person, boldness, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, interaction, me, person, social, social interaction, times
I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

1 month ago

apocalypse, climate, date, dating, humor, i, readiness, ready, relationships, sad, sadness, used
Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

1 month ago

always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells
I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

1 month ago

connection, crazy, crazy person, dating, humor, just, looking, love, me, normal, person, relationship, self-perception
I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

1 month ago

boyfriend, dating, dilemma, drive, humor, i, purse, put, relationship, want, where
My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

1 month ago

checklist, dating, humor, relationship, standards, Unabomber
Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

1 month ago

block, dating, getting-to-know-you, humor, interaction, just, me, phase, relationship, sarcasm, skip, social, social interaction

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

94 shares on YouTube this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

32 shares on X this month:

Later is the best time to do anything.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Trending via WeChat:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Going viral on Instagram:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Making waves on X:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨