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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Shared recently on Threads:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Freshly posted on X:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Trending via YouTube:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Trending via Facebook:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Going viral on X:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

26 Funny dress quotes

More funny dress quotes 👇

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

2 months ago

baby, comfortable, diaper, dress, humor, job, say, uncomfortable, want
My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

2 months ago

act, clothes, dress, dress up, ex, fetish, humor, idiot, own, relationship, where
When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

2 months ago

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill
They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

2 months ago

around, aspiration, character, costume, darth, Darth Vader, dress, dressed, humor, i, job, parody, say, vader, walk, want
Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

2 months ago

aspirations, demons, dress, fashion, humor, mindset, want
“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

2 months ago

advice, career, dress, expectations, fashion, good, humor, job, tutu, want, well
I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

2 months ago

activity, attention, dress, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jog, need, self-expression, unexpected, unique, web, wedding, wedding dress
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

2 months ago

dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

2 months ago

advice, bank, bank robbery, code, dangerous, dangerous situation, dress, dress code, example, flip flops, going, humor, preparation, robbery, safety, situation, think, wear
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

2 months ago

call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today

For even more funny dress quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

53 shares on X this month:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

69 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on X:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Just landed via WeChat:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Spotted on WeChat:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Just landed via Telegram:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Shared recently on Reddit:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Activity Log ✨

26 Funny dress quotes

More funny dress quotes 👇

All funny dress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨