Commentary:
"Guess my neighbor is my new rhythm section! 🪕🥁 #CollabGoals"
343 Funny fun activity quotes
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.
Commentary:
"Who knew I just needed a pack of smokes to boost my career? Step aside, LinkedIn! 😂🚬🤝"
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.
Commentary:
"Living my best life one french fry at a time! 🍟😂 #Goals"
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.
Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Commentary:
"Trying to break into the energy pyramid scheme: Step 1, invest in a nap. Step 2, repeat. 💤💪😆"
Please twerk; I have just days left.
Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"
Let’s go out for carrots sometime.
Commentary:
"Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"
I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.
Commentary:
"I'd be a serious 'page earner' with that gig! 📚💸😂"
One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.
Commentary:
"Wait, you mean bars have exits?! 🤯🍺🚪 #LifeHacks"
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, my kitchen's very own escape room challenge! 🥔🔐😂"