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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Just shared via X:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Shared recently on X:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Going viral on YouTube:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Just landed via X:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

36 Funny Google quotes

More funny Google quotes 👇

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

2 months ago

best, Google, Googling, humor, i, Italy, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

2 months ago

family, Gemini, Google, hate, humor, i, ID, misinformation, mother, sarcasm, talk, technology, wanted
Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

2 months ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

2 months ago

able, barista, everyday, everyday life, Google, i, information, life, media, normal, normal people, people, should, social, social media, technology, Wikipedia
Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

2 months ago

activity, creativity, fun, Google, humor, names, research, things, woman, writing
Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

2 months ago

expectation, Google, humor, insanity, irony, just, repetition, results
I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

2 months ago

best, best time, Google, Googling, humor, i, Maldif, money, time, travel, vacation, visit
I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

2 months ago

dependency, engine, facts, Google, hope, humor, i, internet, know, knowledge, learning, maybe, never, search, search engine, six, technology, things
So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

2 months ago

addicted, Google, googled, humor, i, joke, just, love, relationship, symptoms

For even more funny Google quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Google quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

66 shares on Threads this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

100 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

29 shares on Facebook this month:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Going viral on Reddit:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Spreading quickly via X:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Going bananas on X:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Spotted on WeChat:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Going bananas on Facebook:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Live now on Slack:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Activity Log ✨

36 Funny Google quotes

More funny Google quotes 👇

All funny Google quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨